No matter who you are or what you story is, I believe that everyone struggles or has struggled with self love at some point in their life. With the expectations of today's society, as sad as it is to say, the idea of completely loving yourself is unrealistic. From a young age we were all exposed to what society portrayed the "perfect" man or woman as. Growing up with these unrealistic ideals, it is hard for us to accept others, let alone ourselves.
Personally, I believe I started struggling with the idea of self love and acceptance when I entered high school. Even if I didn't realize it until now, looking back I know I did. I'm sure I did before high school as well, but once again, I never really thought about it when I was younger. Once I entered high school, expectations for EVERYTHING had completely changed, and to me it seemed like everyone knew more than me. When it came to boys, partying, friendships, literally anything ... my grade nine self believed that I was clueless. I vividly remember walking through the hallway thinking about what the other people around me were thinking and what people were saying about me. While in reality, everyone else was probably a scared little freshman like me, and most likely no one was saying anything. Fast forward four years later and I can gladly say I have learnt a lot about being myself and loving who I am.
As a teenage girl, it can be hard to be yourself. To express yourself the way you wish and not alter your opinions or feelings in order to fit in can definitely be a challenge. Throughout high school I have learnt to not care what people think of me and slowly but surely become more confident. I became aware that my relationship with myself is what decided my relationships with the people around me. I also realized I had to fully understand how comparing myself to others was negatively effecting me. Everyone on this planet is completely different, and you shouldn't be comparing yourself to someone else to put yourself down. We've all been there and we've all done it; and chances are we will all do it again. There are so many positive things to look at over the negative things you can be pointing out, so the next time you feel like comparing yourself to those around you, take a minute to look at the things that make you happy in your life.
Another thing that I find is one of the most important when trying to love yourself and be happy, is the realization that you should never regret something that makes you happy. If you are passionate about something or love doing something, don't stop because you care about the people around you or what they're going to say. Find your happy place and do something you're good at it! This will raise your self-esteem and make you feel good, and ignoring what others have to say will make it feel even better.
Lastly, we all need to understand that it is important to live and LET GO. Don't hold onto things from your past, and don't hold something against yourself for no reason. This is holding you back from moving forward in your journey of life and loving who you are. It can be hard to do, but at the end of the day it will benefit you in the long run. Don't hate yourself because you had a cheat day, or because you embarrassed yourself doing something stupid, or because you don't "fit" in with other people! Just remember that you're allowed to make mistakes, you're allowed to be who you want to be, and you should never do something to please others over yourself.
The following link is a podcast about the concept of perfection in today's society. Give it a listen!
https://m.soundcloud.com/themessyheads/ep-1-the-concept-of-perfection
